The Killer ‘Bs’

People love big‑budget Hollywood movies. They rake in billions at the box office — and even more from the merchandise machine behind them. Star Wars is the classic example: about $15 billion in film revenue, but over $32 billion in toys, posters, costumes, and collectibles. Sometimes, the movie is just a commercial for the merch.

In the 1980s, about half of all films were made for theaters and half went straight to video — lower budgets, smaller casts, minimal advertising. They filled the shelves at Blockbuster, especially in niche genres: slashers, martial arts flicks, and of course, porn.

Today the ratio has blown wide open. For every theatrical release, there may be five lower‑budget streaming‑first films. Two things drove that shift: streaming made distribution cheap and profitable. And the COVID shutdown gutted theater attendance. Even now, cinemas haven’t fully recovered, making big releases riskier.

All of that sets the stage for what I really want to talk about.

Some movies were never meant to be BIG. They’re made by directors with a story to tell, actors who still have the chops even if they’re past their peak marquee years, and studios willing to take a small gamble. These films often get overlooked — until years later, when the right audience discovers them and embraces them.

They can become cult classics. Ignored at release (and panned by the critics), their real audience eventually finds and fully embraces them. Movies like The Evil Dead and They Live have become favorites, in spite of their lack of initial recognition. Major studios refused to get behind Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Eventually, they got private funding. Some notable backers were the bands Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Jethro Tull. I kinda like it when my taste in music and my taste in movies align!

I’ve happened on to some more recent ones that weren’t quite as high on production value, but enjoyable, nonetheless. Scroll through your Netflix or Amazon Prime selections by a category you generally enjoy. With five minutes of research, you are sure to find some unknown (or at least, unknown to you) titles that are well worth your hard-earned hour and a half.

And then there are my favorite ones. These are movies that were released with high hopes, but have since been widely dismissed as dated, forgettable, or just plain un-cool. Audiences today don’t think of them as worthwhile. In fact, they might not think of them at all. I keep physical copies of these, because streaming services don’t always have them available.

The Deep (1977) stars Nick Nolte, Jacqueline Bisset, and Robert Shaw in a great underwater exploration/ thriller involving a Jamaican drug dealer and sunken treasure hunting. Its memorable supporting cast includes Louis Gossett Jr. and Eli Wallach. 

 

Can you name the other B movie where these tough guys tangled?

It also features a couple of my favorite character actors – Robert Tessier and Earl Maynard. It’s based on the novel by Peter Benchley, and was one of the reasons I took an early interest in SCUBA diving.

 

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) is a steampunk adventure story, featuring a mash-up of dozens of nods and winks to Victorian novels and literary characters (including Allan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer, and Dorian Gray) against a villain who is attempting to start a world war. The effects can seem cheesy, and the acting a little over-the-top. But I love it. It stars Sean Connery in his last live action role.

The Expendables (2010). Not a “B” movie in terms of budget. It stars…well, almost everybody. It would be easier to list the action actors that it doesn’t include. It has over the top violence, non-stop action, a very thin plot, and all of the charm you would expect from a 1980s shoot’em up. It features Sly “They drew first blood!” Stallone, Arnold “Get to da’ chappa!” Schwarzenegger, and Bruce “Yipee-ki-yay, motherf***er!” Willis.

Critics used phrases like ‘overblown’ ‘messy’, and ‘testosterone-filled crap.’ It received ‘mixed reviews’, and has been the butt-end of many jokes. But it spawned 3 sequels. Each has gotten progressively worse reviews. Expendables 5 is pending.

I’ll probably re-watch all of them 20 more times before I die.

Here’s an analogy to consider:

A theatrical masterpiece is a filet mignon and lobster surf‑and‑turf — rare, memorable, and meant to be savored.

A typical big‑budget Hollywood movie is a crock‑pot stew: solid, comforting, and perfectly fine on any Tuesday evening.

Direct to streaming – this month on Netflix!

A low‑budget B‑movie is not nutritious – not even a little. Neither are Cap’n Crunch or powdered sugar donuts..

You’ll never hear me complain about them, though.

 

 

-Toph

Remembering a Man with “No-Name”

Tom Landry once quipped that the Miami Defense of the early 1970s was a “bunch of no-names.” In fact, it seemed the only defensive player on the team with any kind of recognition at all was Middle Linebacker Nick Buoniconti. The rest were treated like uncredited extras in a B-movie. That didn’t stop them. In fact, it seemed to fuel the fire in their bellies. They were the first team to make it to 3 Super Bowls in a row (winning 2 of them.) The 1972 Dolphins remain the only completely undefeated NFL team in the Super Bowl era.

Manny Fernandez – the college years

In spite of his lack of name recognition, Manny Fernandez absolutely dominated opposing lines – on a defense chock-full of dominating players. Manny was undrafted out of Utah in 1968 before signing with the Dolphins. One of the unofficial reasons for signing him was his Latin heritage. The large Hispanic population was an under-represented demographic within the Miami fan base; and the ownership wanted to change that. In an interview with NFL Films, he laughed, saying, “I am a Spaniard, but I don’t speak a word of it.”

The team also joked about his poor eyesight. Without his glasses, he was “blind as a bat.” But that was OK. He only needed to follow the moving blur that was holding the football. Some sources cite him as the first in the NFL to play the Nose Tackle position (directly opposite the Center.) This meant that he was typically blocked by 2 offensive linemen. In Super Bowl VII, the Washington Redskins attempted to contain him against a single player. Manny said, “It was like a vacation.” He racked up an incredible 17 tackles and 3 sacks that game. And he played all 8 seasons of his career with the Dolphins.

Both Pro Football Weekly and USA Today have listed him in ‘all time Super Bowl’ lists. In a January 2015 article in Shutdown Corner, Frank Schwab of Yahoo Sports named Fernandez among the all-time greatest NFL Super Bowl players. Manny was ranked 10th.

This morning, the news reported that we Dolphins fans have lost another great.   Manuel Jose Fernandez died at the age of 79. His name and jersey #75 are immortalized at Hard Rock Stadium’s Ring of Honor in Miami, Florida. Although never enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, his photo and signature are proudly honored in my personal (and literal) hallway.

Rest in Peace, #75. We all remember you.

-Toph