The Killer ‘Bs’

People love big‑budget Hollywood movies. They rake in billions at the box office — and even more from the merchandise machine behind them. Star Wars is the classic example: about $15 billion in film revenue, but over $32 billion in toys, posters, costumes, and collectibles. Sometimes, the movie is just a commercial for the merch.

In the 1980s, about half of all films were made for theaters and half went straight to video — lower budgets, smaller casts, minimal advertising. They filled the shelves at Blockbuster, especially in niche genres: slashers, martial arts flicks, and of course, porn.

Today the ratio has blown wide open. For every theatrical release, there may be five lower‑budget streaming‑first films. Two things drove that shift: streaming made distribution cheap and profitable. And the COVID shutdown gutted theater attendance. Even now, cinemas haven’t fully recovered, making big releases riskier.

All of that sets the stage for what I really want to talk about.

Some movies were never meant to be BIG. They’re made by directors with a story to tell, actors who still have the chops even if they’re past their peak marquee years, and studios willing to take a small gamble. These films often get overlooked — until years later, when the right audience discovers them and embraces them.

They can become cult classics. Ignored at release (and panned by the critics), their real audience eventually finds and fully embraces them. Movies like The Evil Dead and They Live have become favorites, in spite of their lack of initial recognition. Major studios refused to get behind Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Eventually, they got private funding. Some notable backers were the bands Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Jethro Tull. I kinda like it when my taste in music and my taste in movies align!

I’ve happened on to some more recent ones that weren’t quite as high on production value, but enjoyable, nonetheless. Scroll through your Netflix or Amazon Prime selections by a category you generally enjoy. With five minutes of research, you are sure to find some unknown (or at least, unknown to you) titles that are well worth your hard-earned hour and a half.

And then there are my favorite ones. These are movies that were released with high hopes, but have since been widely dismissed as dated, forgettable, or just plain un-cool. Audiences today don’t think of them as worthwhile. In fact, they might not think of them at all. I keep physical copies of these, because streaming services don’t always have them available.

The Deep (1977) stars Nick Nolte, Jacqueline Bisset, and Robert Shaw in a great underwater exploration/ thriller involving a Jamaican drug dealer and sunken treasure hunting. Its memorable supporting cast includes Louis Gossett Jr. and Eli Wallach. 

 

Can you name the other B movie where these tough guys tangled?

It also features a couple of my favorite character actors – Robert Tessier and Earl Maynard. It’s based on the novel by Peter Benchley, and was one of the reasons I took an early interest in SCUBA diving.

 

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) is a steampunk adventure story, featuring a mash-up of dozens of nods and winks to Victorian novels and literary characters (including Allan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer, and Dorian Gray) against a villain who is attempting to start a world war. The effects can seem cheesy, and the acting a little over-the-top. But I love it. It stars Sean Connery in his last live action role.

The Expendables (2010). Not a “B” movie in terms of budget. It stars…well, almost everybody. It would be easier to list the action actors that it doesn’t include. It has over the top violence, non-stop action, a very thin plot, and all of the charm you would expect from a 1980s shoot’em up. It features Sly “They drew first blood!” Stallone, Arnold “Get to da’ chappa!” Schwarzenegger, and Bruce “Yipee-ki-yay, motherf***er!” Willis.

Critics used phrases like ‘overblown’ ‘messy’, and ‘testosterone-filled crap.’ It received ‘mixed reviews’, and has been the butt-end of many jokes. But it spawned 3 sequels. Each has gotten progressively worse reviews. Expendables 5 is pending.

I’ll probably re-watch all of them 20 more times before I die.

Here’s an analogy to consider:

A theatrical masterpiece is a filet mignon and lobster surf‑and‑turf — rare, memorable, and meant to be savored.

A typical big‑budget Hollywood movie is a crock‑pot stew: solid, comforting, and perfectly fine on any Tuesday evening.

Direct to streaming – this month on Netflix!

A low‑budget B‑movie is not nutritious – not even a little. Neither are Cap’n Crunch or powdered sugar donuts..

You’ll never hear me complain about them, though.

 

 

-Toph

You Silly Goose

I got my first car in late 1983. I drove the hell out of it, and my dad finally sold it when I was in college (only after the transmission stopped permitting movement in reverse.) We had to push it out of parking lots. It wasn’t very dignified, but I was still under 20, so I wasn’t very dignified myself. So, doesn’t count, right?

Anyway, that first car fit me perfectly. It was a 1972 Jeep DJ-5B. That’s the official designation for a Post Office Jeep. It was one of the first Jeeps to have an inline 6-cylinder engine. It had the slide open doors, and was very ‘bare bones’ on features. And by that, I mean no AC or heat. It was painted primer gray. My dad helped me put in a radio with a couple speakers in the back. The stereo was an 8-Track, so I had to have one of those Kraco cassette adapters. Oh, and the speedometer didn’t work. So there was that.

Not my original, but online, it looks A LOT like it!

 

 

 

 

 

Cool, but it never did much for me.

Owning that vehicle sort of set my course as far as transportation preferences. Some guys are into muscle cars or big trucks. Some have classic vintage autos or sophisticated, luxury tastes. Others are motorcycle types. From age 16 forward, I was an SUV guy. I’ve certainly owned other cars, but I always gravitate back to the old go anywhere, do anything. 

Now THAT’S more like it!

I also love the Jeeper lifestyle. I’ve come to accept that Just Empty Every Pocket is a harsh reality. I give the ‘Jeep wave’ to the Wrangler drivers with whom I cross paths. I take it camping. I like bumpy, muddy trails. And I never wash it. It has dirt on it from 10 years ago. If it needs to be cleaner, Mother Nature takes care of that for me when it rains. And my dog loves it almost as much as I do. I installed an old baby gate to keep him in his own space.

There’s a (relatively new) Jeep activity that doesn’t really fit my lifestyle. The Jeep ‘ducking’ seems incongruous with my 210,000 mile dirt and rust monster. I can’t really put them on the dash without them falling out into the street (my doors are off.) So I decided to share them all. If you’re one of the fellow Jeepers, and you got one, it means I think your Jeep is cool. There’s a pretty good chance it’s shiny and clean. Great! If it happens to be more like mine, it means I’m showing respect for another rough around the edges, hard-core off-road.type. And if you found this article because you got one of my ducks, shoot me an email. It’s a Jeep thing. I’m sure you understand!

-Toph