This Still Counts as Playing

I’ve been collecting action figures for many years. From Christmas in 1972 through my late 50s (HEY! I’m still in my 50s for a while—listen up!) I’ve loved these plastic warriors and adventurers. The imagination they spark is pure joy.

Play is the work of childhood.” — Jean Piaget

I arrived a little too early for He‑Man and the Masters of the Universe. My sweet spot was the military—and quasi‑military—world of 1/6th‑scale GI Joe figures. By the late 70s I began to “outgrow” toys (more on that later), and my younger brothers took over the jungle expeditions and covert missions. But the imprint was made, and it waited dormant, like the great Cthulhu.

Between the late 70s and early 90s, GI Joe disappeared from U.S. shelves. He lived on elsewhere, though: Action Man in the UK, Combat Man in Japan, Geyperman in Spain, Falcon in South America. The uniform sometimes changed, but the spirit stayed the same.

In the early 1990s, 1/6th‑scale figures made a comeback. Hasbro wasn’t the only game in town anymore—Dragon, Formative International, 21st Century Toys, and BBI all added their own spin on the classic Joe. Even though Hasbro owned the name, “GI Joe” became a kind of generic trademark for the whole category. Seeing these guys return for the first time in fifteen years was the spark.

I reopened that little metaphorical can of worms and became a GI Joe collector again. I didn’t play with them the way I did at six—those days of lying on the floor with a Jeep full of guys taking small‑arms fire and crashing into the couch were over. But that doesn’t mean I stopped playing entirely.

The toys are still inspirational. Each one offers a chance for backstory—a headcanon of who they are and where they fit on the team scattered across my shelves. The adventures are still in there. If you listened at my door, you wouldn’t hear engines roaring or sergeants yelling for everyone to fall back. But you might hear me clicking away at the keyboard. Or you might see me at my desk with an action figure in pieces, being restrung, repainted, or customized.

My process has four steps. First, I imagine a character or situation. Sometimes it’s inspired by a movie, TV show, or book, but more often it’s my own idea. Second, I assemble the physical figure—mixing vintage items with newer products, modifying clothing and equipment however I like. I’m not bound by collector value or “mint in box” preservation. Third, I write the character’s story: who they are, what they do, and how they fit into the world. And finally, I create the visual. My photography skills are, to put it kindly, rudimentary, and my camera equipment is primitive. Anything more specialized than a blurry selfie tests the limits of my abilities. Luckily, technology steps in. A couple of AI image‑generation tools can take my written narrative and produce a surprisingly good representation. It usually takes a few rewrites and revisions, but that’s part of the fun.

 

 

When I’m done, I have a short story, woven into a shared universe of my own creation.  It is then represented by a detailed image. They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

I think that’s true—give or take a few hundred words, anyway.

The pictures aren’t for sale, and the backstories aren’t written for any formal publication. They really aren’t even written for anybody else.  They’re simply my own little projects.

 

But who knows? Maybe someday, I’ll share my toys.

Toph

The Killer ‘Bs’

People love big‑budget Hollywood movies. They rake in billions at the box office — and even more from the merchandise machine behind them. Star Wars is the classic example: about $15 billion in film revenue, but over $32 billion in toys, posters, costumes, and collectibles. Sometimes, the movie is just a commercial for the merch.

In the 1980s, about half of all films were made for theaters and half went straight to video — lower budgets, smaller casts, minimal advertising. They filled the shelves at Blockbuster, especially in niche genres: slashers, martial arts flicks, and of course, porn.

Today the ratio has blown wide open. For every theatrical release, there may be five lower‑budget streaming‑first films. Two things drove that shift: streaming made distribution cheap and profitable. And the COVID shutdown gutted theater attendance. Even now, cinemas haven’t fully recovered, making big releases riskier.

All of that sets the stage for what I really want to talk about.

Some movies were never meant to be BIG. They’re made by directors with a story to tell, actors who still have the chops even if they’re past their peak marquee years, and studios willing to take a small gamble. These films often get overlooked — until years later, when the right audience discovers them and embraces them.

They can become cult classics. Ignored at release (and panned by the critics), their real audience eventually finds and fully embraces them. Movies like The Evil Dead and They Live have become favorites, in spite of their lack of initial recognition. Major studios refused to get behind Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Eventually, they got private funding. Some notable backers were the bands Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Jethro Tull. I kinda like it when my taste in music and my taste in movies align!

I’ve happened on to some more recent ones that weren’t quite as high on production value, but enjoyable, nonetheless. Scroll through your Netflix or Amazon Prime selections by a category you generally enjoy. With five minutes of research, you are sure to find some unknown (or at least, unknown to you) titles that are well worth your hard-earned hour and a half.

And then there are my favorite ones. These are movies that were released with high hopes, but have since been widely dismissed as dated, forgettable, or just plain un-cool. Audiences today don’t think of them as worthwhile. In fact, they might not think of them at all. I keep physical copies of these, because streaming services don’t always have them available.

The Deep (1977) stars Nick Nolte, Jacqueline Bisset, and Robert Shaw in a great underwater exploration/ thriller involving a Jamaican drug dealer and sunken treasure hunting. Its memorable supporting cast includes Louis Gossett Jr. and Eli Wallach. 

 

Can you name the other B movie where these tough guys tangled?

It also features a couple of my favorite character actors – Robert Tessier and Earl Maynard. It’s based on the novel by Peter Benchley, and was one of the reasons I took an early interest in SCUBA diving.

 

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) is a steampunk adventure story, featuring a mash-up of dozens of nods and winks to Victorian novels and literary characters (including Allan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer, and Dorian Gray) against a villain who is attempting to start a world war. The effects can seem cheesy, and the acting a little over-the-top. But I love it. It stars Sean Connery in his last live action role.

The Expendables (2010). Not a “B” movie in terms of budget. It stars…well, almost everybody. It would be easier to list the action actors that it doesn’t include. It has over the top violence, non-stop action, a very thin plot, and all of the charm you would expect from a 1980s shoot’em up. It features Sly “They drew first blood!” Stallone, Arnold “Get to da’ chappa!” Schwarzenegger, and Bruce “Yipee-ki-yay, motherf***er!” Willis.

Critics used phrases like ‘overblown’ ‘messy’, and ‘testosterone-filled crap.’ It received ‘mixed reviews’, and has been the butt-end of many jokes. But it spawned 3 sequels. Each has gotten progressively worse reviews. Expendables 5 is pending.

I’ll probably re-watch all of them 20 more times before I die.

Here’s an analogy to consider:

A theatrical masterpiece is a filet mignon and lobster surf‑and‑turf — rare, memorable, and meant to be savored.

A typical big‑budget Hollywood movie is a crock‑pot stew: solid, comforting, and perfectly fine on any Tuesday evening.

Direct to streaming – this month on Netflix!

A low‑budget B‑movie is not nutritious – not even a little. Neither are Cap’n Crunch or powdered sugar donuts..

You’ll never hear me complain about them, though.

 

 

-Toph