I was looking over a handful of miniatures from my “pile of disappointment” -it’s like what other hobbyists refer to as a pile of shame, but rather than being un-built, it’s more focused on being let down by projects I started, but never fully completed. And it also isn’t a single pile. It’s an assortment of minis, projects, bits, etc., that grows at an exponential rate. It is also not limited to miniatures – it includes model kits, action figures, book series, etc.
I’ve been pondering this phenomenon. I’m prone to such bouts of self examination, having worked for most of my career in mental health treatment. I sometimes look for maladaptive behaviors more overtly than the average person. And if there’s one thing I’ve discovered, it’s that I have a couple of maladaptive behaviors.
Like most problems, its root cause doesn’t seem to be simple or straightforward. I can get distracted by the next new, exciting thing, pushing the original project to the never-ending back burner. This sudden “SQUIRREL” moment typically happens 1/3 of the way through the current project. It’s a trait i picked up from my late father, and it was made all the more clear when my brothers and I were cleaning out our parents’ house. He had his own piles of disappointment. The only difference was that he had a 25-year head start on his collections.
I recognize that I’m an easy mark for FOMO (fear of missing out,) especially in regard to “collectibles.” Limited edition sounds pretty exciting, since they always increase in value…right? I mean, with only a few tens of thousand available, I’ve GOT to have it before they’re gone forever. But even if I did happen to trip over that signed first edition of “The Old Man and the Sea,” 1909 S-VDB Lincoln cent, or original Honus Wagoner baseball card, I can almost guarantee I’ll open it, remove it from the box, and likely, throw away the one thing that stands any chance of making it retain its value – the packaging. And the fear of missing out doesn’t seem to care about these facts.
There is also an actual, irrational feeling of need to complete sets. If there are 12 of something, people tend to feel uncomfortable if they only possess 10 of them. Sometimes it isn’t even a conscious feeling – just an internal drive. If a TV show has 4 seasons, and he’s only seen the first 3, he will feel like he must see the final season. Even if the quality of the writing seems to have gone down over the run of the series, he’ll want to “see it through.” And the very nature of being a “collector” of something implies completing the set. The problem is that most of these sets are open-ended. You will never get them all, because they always make more.
As I said a couple paragraphs ago, I was cleaning out our parents’ house. Along with all of dad’s half – completed projects, I found several of my own, stored in boxes in the basement, attic, and garage. It drove the point home that this tendency to leave things incomplete wasn’t going to self-correct. And rather than simply accepting my fate, I should work to improve the situation.
I have a lot of interests, and many involve creativity. But not all of my ideas need to turn into masterpieces. In fact, they probably shouldn’t. Some of these efforts aren’t worth continuing. My next project is going to involve evaluating these initial efforts, and where appropriate, ending the experiment.
So, with that in mind, I’m starting a new collection. I’m collecting things to take out to the dumpster.
-Toph