Category: Uncategorized

A National Day to Celebrate

I was listening to the radio yesterday morning, and the program host mentioned that it was National Coatimundi Day. When I investigated further, I read that it was actually on Dec. 3rd but I’m not holding that against the disc jockey. Are they even called disc jockeys anymore? I mean, most of what they do now comes from digital files, but “audio file jockey” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. I’ll stick with radio host, just to be safe.

Anyway, they were celebrating National Coatimundi Day. For those unfamiliar, a coatimundi (‘coati’ for short) is a medium-sized animal that is related to the raccoon (‘coon’ for short. Fair is fair, right?). They look a lot like raccoons, but have longer snouts and tails, and tend to be a little bigger. They eat like raccoons, too. Pretty much anything. In more secluded places, they stick to plants, bugs, tarantulas and mice. I have no first-hand experience, but I suspect that, like their Midwestern cousins, they are not above eating out of garbage cans if given the opportunity.

Cute little feller, right?

I didn’t know anything about them until I moved to Arizona, so it was cool to learn about these unusual guys. I’ve never seen one in the great outdoors. They are on the shy side, and generally avoid the limelight. I once saw one at the Desert Museum, and it was pretty cool.

Still. I was wondering about them having a ‘national day.’ Do they celebrate it? I seriously doubt they even pay attention to such things. Hell, they probably aren’t even sure of the area code they live in, so let’s not give them more credit than they deserve. Actually, it’s on the calendar to help promote conservation and awareness of them. So I’m cool with that.

Wondering what other special days we have set aside, I set forth into a deeper dive (focusing on the fauna of the southwest U.S.) August 8th is National Tarantula Day. Spiders are scary to a lot of people, so it’s easy to think of them as just bigger, more evil spiders. I’ve come to appreciate spiders as a whole a lot more than I used to. I still don’t want them in my cupboards (and setting up shop there will likely get them evicted with extreme prejudice) but in the yard or under my workshop is fine by me.

 

Big date tonight – wish me luck!

Tarantulas hold an even higher place on my ‘good guys to have around’ list. They usually aren’t very aggressive at all. In the 1950s, sci-fi movies cast them as fearsome villains, but they are quite the opposite. They typically live underground. They hunt at night, and mostly eat bugs, scorpions, and other spiders. Sometimes when they mate, the female eats the male, but the girls live 3-4 times as long as the boys – some up to 30 years – so they have a richer life to look forward to anyway. Their venom is not medically significant to people, and they make pretty good, low-maintenance pets.

Sticking to the desert dweller theme, July 1st is National Roadrunner Day. They came next on my countdown because they eat tarantulas. Roadrunners also eat lizards, mice, and just about anything else they come across, and are considered omnivores. They are really more like the cartoon coyote in that regard. Are you seeing a trend here? In this dry, less hospitable region, animals aren’t picky eaters.

What’s on the menu? Wait…it’s THAT – RIGHT THERE!

Despite the name, they really don’t seem to “run” in the traditional sense. It’s more of a really fast, straight-legged walk. When they do stop, their tail does this weird ‘lift then lower’ move. And their heads turn and twitch in a quirky, amphetamine-fueled fashion. They also don’t much resemble their Saturday morning cartoon avatar. In fact, if that version hadn’t first shown up in the late 1940s, I’d swear it was created with AI input.

Yeah. The resemblance is uncanny. Whatever.

 

 

 

 

 

Which winds me around to my forth and final southwest animal day – July 28th is Rattlesnake Roundup Day. It was established as such in Texas in 1958, and it was focused on reducing the pit viper population. Fortunately, most of our national celebration days are more positive and ‘feel good.’

Try to imagine the potential horror of Mothers’ Day… Yikes!

In any case, Rattlesnake Roundup is now a fun, family focused educational event. I’ve really found a soft place in my heart for the rattlesnake, and I’m glad they went back on Santa’s nice list.

So there it is – my bite-sized review of some of the nations’ most uniquely arid-loving denizens. I’ll now start lobbying for a National ‘50-something model building, action figure collecting, history nerd who likes trivia and classic rock’ day. Contact your congressman, and help get the word out!

And thank you for your support.

-Toph

Scary Breakfast Goodness

1971 was a landmark year. Sure, every year is significant for something, but our story begins in 1971, so play along. That March, General Mills released the “Monster Cereals.” The lineup was twofold. Frankenberry, who was a cartoonish version of Frankenstein’s monster. He had a Boris Karloff voice and a vaguely strawberry-ish flavor. Next up was Count Chocula: a kid-friendly vampire parody of Bela Lugosi with hints of chocolaty goodness. For us Monster Kids, they were amazing! They turned the milk pink (or brown—see above), and were an instant hit. The Saturday morning commercials, strategically sandwiched between cartoon episodes, involved the 2 mascots arguing over which cereal was better. The following year, a third was added; Boo Berry was a blue ghost who sounded like Peter Lorie, and—see a pattern here?—turned the milk blue.

They were initially available all year, but eventually shelved and brought out of the attic (or dungeon…whatever) just in time for Halloween. Along the way, a fourth and fifth were added. Frute Brute, which was originally spelled like the produce, but changed for some reason, was a werewolf. And Yummy Mummy (You guessed it – a spider. No? Moving on…), like Frute Brute, came into and out of the line-up for several years. In 2014 GM got the whole band together in retro-style boxes; and, finally, the ‘Fab 5’ were on the shelves together.

Obviously, I had to buy all 5; and I saved the boxes for posterity. I’m sure they will grow exponentially in value and will probably put future generations through college.

The most recent monster in the line-up

A couple years ago, a new, limited-edition character was introduced—Carmella Creeper—an interesting addition. First of all, she was a SHE—a ghoul for the girls, while all previous characters had been male. Also, she seemed to represent both the Gen Z and Rave demographics, and was less influenced by Gothic horror. Carmella’s a cool zombie disk jockey in the form of a green caramel apple-flavored cereal. She is also supposed to be Frankenberry’s cousin. The lore doesn’t really hold up to scrutiny, but it’s cereal canon, not Tolkien or Star Trek; so let’s cut them a break. Sadly, Carmella was only around for a couple of years. I’m hoping she’ll make occasional appearances in the rotation.

It’s almost Halloween – my favorite holiday! But oddly, I haven’t found the monster cereals in the stores this year. On the Internet, I can see that they have been making the rounds, and even had some sort of Muppet character crossover. They’re just not in any of the grocery stores I’ve been frequenting. I’m going to be on the lookout next year. They are not sneaking past me again. I’ll be waiting…and watching.

(Cue the evil laughter track.)

Now, truth be told, I don’t need more zero-nutritional value, fiber-poor, simple carbohydrate calories in my diet. But, C’mon; it’s a 54-year tradition. A couple boxes of artificial flavoring won’t kill me. It probably won’t. Right?

So, if you find yourself hunkering down for a sweet, pastel-colored bowl of scary goodness, give a nod to your horror pals that made it all possible. And maybe lift a spoon to your old buddy Toph, too. Okay?

Happy Halloween –

-Toph